Scattered Thoughts

 As I listen to Building Steam With a Grain of Salt in my room with my eyes closed, the beginning of the song reminds me of a ticking clock, as if time was running out. But as the song continues to play, I hear a voice in my head telling me to move forward and reach out. The piano playing makes me feel as if I was inside of a dream in which I’m walking towards the light. I see it; it’s there, but as I try to hold it, it begins to fade away. All the while, I can’t make out what I’m reaching out for. I just know that I’m walking and sometimes running trying to reach it so that I can embrace it, as if I was trying to fill a void in my chest.

The spoken words part of the song makes me reflect on what I want to perfect in my life. I think of all my emotions and feelings inside of me that I wish I could describe with words and make a poem out of them and give to all my loved ones, as a token of my affection and disappointments. I wish I could perfect what feeling courageous is like.

I also think of a number of skills I want to perfect in my life such as my painting skills, cooking skills, writing skills, etc…

 I want to work on my laugh so that it can become an infectious laugh, and on my joke telling abilities.

I want to allow and give myself permission to trust those around me because I feel that time is running out. I would hate to go one day into the great beyond and leave the people behind me feeling as if they felt I did not love them.